experience daw?

i often dream of the same dream. i am looking at someone whom i have known for the past three years. my tears were falling while he's walking away and slowly fades into nothingness.

it was nightmare. a nightmare that haunts me over and over again.

for almost four years, i haven't seen him yet i always remember him every ticking of the clock. you might wonder why, but i'm sorry, i can't even answer that question on my own. he was a high school friend and at the same time the only guy i had loved this much. i know i sounded silly for having a crush on a guy for almost four years.

i could still remember the day i started liking him. he was jut sitting beside me when an unusual feeling started to rise inside of me while staring into his hazel brown eyes. he was smiling back at me then. i denied the awkward feelings at first. but everytime he talks to me, everytime he calls my name and every time he stares into me i just can't help myself falling into him.

it was never my intention to fall in love with my best guy pal, that is why i started to build walls between us. it hurts, but i know more of pain than to stay right beside him. i know all the way that it would be a one-sided love story. but you can't blame me or him, because even if he had the same feelings for me, it still wont work that way.

it was a relief in my part knowing he will be transferring to another school for the next school year, it will bought me some time to heal the wounds he left in me.

but ironically, instead of forgetting him , my love for him only grew stronger. i can't comprehend why this is happening to me. some friends would say it's true love, (of course i don't believe them). some say it's just part of growing up,it will pass (blessed them!).

so to cut the story short, up to know i still have this feelings for him. but i never hope nor expected that he will be giving my love back. but you know what, though i have suffered for many years, i never regretted those times i cried just because of wanting to forget him. those sleepless nights of too much thinking of him. i will always treasure those moments. because of it, i became stronger and even more careful in life.

i'm just happy knowing he's making his way fulfilling his dreams.

my life would still go on. without him or not, loving him or not, life gets to move forward!:)